MEET OUR TEAM
Emily Vikre
Co-Founder, CEO, and Arbiter of Taste
Dr. Emily Vikre, PhD, is an INFJ, an enneatype 5 with a solid 4 wing, a Vatta, horoscope is Cancer, personality color is blue. She likes personality diagnostics. Once upon a time, after growing up in Duluth, working as a science journalist and then museum educator, she got a PhD and taught graduate classes in theories of individual behavior and organizational behavior in public health. Always the creative but bookish type, being a professor was probably what everyone had always expected Emily to do. Starting a distillery was probably the thing everyone least expected her to do. But, inspired by secret whisperings from Lake Superior and the desire to move back to a landscape that feeds her soul, Emily left the East coast with Joel and their intrepid dog Squid and came home to Duluth to start Vikre Distillery. Her favorite piece of music is Sibelius’ Symphony 2; her favorite membrane protein is the aquaporin; her favorite tree is the birch; her favorite TV show is old, but not too old, episodes of Top Gear; her favorite animal is her and Joel’s two squirrely sons.
Favorite song to work to: Anything by ABBA (don’t judge).
Favorite spirit: Probably Green Chartreuse – kind of weird and intense, but also sweet and complex and, dare I say, pretty much awesome.
Shaken or stirred: STIRRED! Because, Negroni. Also Manhattan.
Shark vs. grizzly, who wins: Honestly, I think grizzly because it has arms. BUT, sharks never sleep…
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Dinosaurs! I used to know everything about dinosaurs when I was 6. Now I’ve forgotten everything about dinosaurs, but still …
Joel Vikre
Co-Founder, Equipment Guru, and President
Joel is a socially unreliable, frequently grandiose, sometimes surprising, natural leader-type. He likes the rules he makes. As a younger man, he worked in global health in Tijuana, Mexico, Siuna, Nicaragua, and Lwala, Kenya. In the process he entered and dropped out of medical school, became an armchair ethnographer, learned how to build things, and helped start and lead a few different organizations that have gone on to provide clean water and medical care to millions of people in Africa. He loves things that are hard to get ahold of - like organizational behavior and culture. But he reached a time in his life where living in a place, and doing something more tangible seemed like the best move. Plus, as husband to Emily and dad to Espen and Squid the dog, he discovered that being around his family became the most important thing. The obvious next step? Learning how to distill booze, of course, which turned out to be really fun, and created an opportunity to craft a company with rigorous social and environmental goals. He likes to split his days between the strategy and the super concrete - like plumbing. He does not like the stuff in between. And, oh yeah, he likes whiskey.
Favorite song to work to: Joel, even though he likes to play music and loves live music, prefers to listen to public radio. Emily believes he has a politics problem.
Favorite spirit: Joel's favorite spirit is always the one that hasn't been made up yet.
Shaken or stirred: Joel doesn't understand the question, as both seem more or less brownian.
Shark vs. grizzly, who wins: Depends on the medium in which they fight, whether the advantage goes to more teeth or more grabbing appendages. Also the type of shark. Need more specifics.
Dinosaurs or unicorns. which is better: Dinosaurs are REAL AS HELL, and Joel loves things that are improbable and real.
Steve Anderson
Brand Ambassador
Steve is a long-time IT worker, full-time husband, and girl dad in the Twin Cities.
Favorite song to work to: Any Johnny Cash
Favorite spirit: Vikre Øvrevann, versatile and unique!
Shaken or stirred: Cocktail kits may have convinced me shaken is the way to go.
Shark or grizzly, who wins: Grizzly! Have you ever seen a fish out of water?
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Narwhal, the unicorn of the sea.
JERRY AREND
Cocktail Room Manager
Jerry was born in a suburb of Chicago and lived there until the age of seven, when his parents moved him to Northern California. Jerry met his wife, Amanda, in San Francisco, where they both worked as paramedics in the Bay Area. They eventually settled in Sonoma County. It was here that Jerry formed his love of wine and all things hospitality. He worked for several small production wineries and eventually went on to form and operate a highly successful wine tour company for many years. After a random visit to Duluth, Jerry felt the pull of Lake Superior and all of her surrounding beauty and decided to make it — and Vikre — his new home.
Favorite song to work to: Depends on my mood! I will listen to anything from Johnny Cash to Lady Gaga. My music preferences change daily.
Favorite spirit: Juniper Gin (because see below!)
Shaken or stirred: Stirred because martinis are life!
Shark or grizzly, who wins: Shark, any day off the week!
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Dinos. Unicorns scare me!
ISABELLE Askelin
Shift Lead/Bartender
Isabelle grew up in Rochester, Minn., and moved shortly after graduating high school to Duluth. She danced with Minnesota Ballet's 2015-2016 season before deciding to go back to school. She married her high school sweetheart and absolutely loves to steal his clothes (see below!).
When Isabelle is not at work, she loves watching Real Housewives, taking care of her plants, and taking walks when it isn't unbearably cold. Recently, she got back into the dance world and helps at a West Duluth ballet studio.
Favorite song to work to: anything by Shania Twain or something that I can lip sync behind the bar.
Favorite spirit: When it comes to Vikre products it has to be Spruce Gin ... mmm so light and floral. Or tequila, because no one ever has a bad time with it.
Shaken or stirred: Stirred.
Shark or grizzy, who wins: Whale Shark ... I love whales. Can some billionaire make a fresh water whale and bring it to Lake Superior?
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Dinosaurs because … Laura Dern and Jeff Goldblum. Also, Land Before Time had a hold on me during my childhood.
Morgan Askelin
Distillery Rat
Morgan was born in Minneapolis, but quickly moved to Rochester, Minnesota where he spent most of his childhood outdoors either skiing or bicycling. After graduating high school, Morgan moved north to Duluth where he is currently going to school for a degree in Environment, Sustainability & Geography. Morgan loves being outside regardless of the weather (especially rain!). Most of his spare time is spent identifying local fauna and flora on walks, or spending time inside with his wife and their hairy roommate Moo Moo McMeowington.
Favorite song to work to: Anything with a funky, groovy bassline. “Them Changes” by Thundercat or “Back Pocket” by Vulfpeck.
Favorite spirit: Definitely Spruce Gin. Nothing beats those unique flavors.
Shaken or stirred: Stirred. I prefer the hypnotizing motion of ice cubes in a glass.
Shark vs. grizzly. who wins: Sharks obviously. They've been around for 400 million years. Thats older than trees. That's a lot of time to prepare for a fight.
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Dinosaurs. Jurassic Park was a staple movie during my childhood!
Ted Bjork
Director of Distillery Operations. (i.e. the self-proclaimed: DODO, aka the one who fixes the broken things!)
Every family needs a rock. Ted is ours. As Director of Distillery Operations, Ted helps our all of our project-based dreams come true. He never fails to have a good story or a thoughtful piece of advice to pass along.
Before working at Vikre Distillery, Ted worked as an electrician for a local railroad. After 36 years, he retired and started filling his days with activities such as golf, biking, skiing (preferably downhill, because it is more thrilling), and ballroom dance, which led him to the distillery. You see, Emily’s parents are also ballroom dance enthusiasts. They brought their crew, including Ted, to the distillery for a tour when things were just getting started. Ted claims he corned Joel after the tour because he was so interested and has so many questions. It wasn’t long after their initial conversation that Ted came in for an interview. After Joel and Ted agreed to give it a try, Ted mentioned it was his second job interview ever.
As the story goes, Joel wanted to put up a trolley system but didn’t know how. Ted said, “Oh, you just get a magnetic drill press and stick it on the beams, hit the switch, it clamps, and you can drill up.” He then found himself surprised when Joel left him to do the job but of course, he got it done.
Ted likes to say he does creative running repairs and this couldn’t be more accurate. He loves creating something from nothing. If he sees good material in the dumpster, he dives right in. When he saw oak flooring panels in the trash a while back, He had to hop in and grab them. He knew he could use them somehow. Sure enough, we have a new hose rack.
Ted is a bonafide snow bird who will be spending his second winter (only his second one in his whole life) in Arizona to visit his sister.
Favorite song to work to: A whole lotta love Led Zeppelin
Favorite spirit: Jack Daniels. It is like being with a casual lover, you know you could really fall for them but you don’t want to get too attached.
Shaken or stirred: Stirred, or on some ice.
Shark vs. grizzly, who wins: Grizzly. They get more aggressive when they attack.
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Oh, dinosaurs. They actually existed.
JORDAN DECKER
Retail Renaissance Woman
Hailing from the Twin Cities area, Jordan (she/her/hers) first fell in love with Lady Superior and her portside city when she moved up for college. She studied at UMD, where she majored in Communications and double minored in Art and Dance. One year later, she happily dropped out to continue her education in the hospitality industry, and never looked back.
A lifelong learner, Jordan enjoys diving deep into her favorite subjects: food, drink, art, travel, plants, tabletop games, and yoga. More recently she's been finding herself in the teacher's seat, teaching both cocktail and yoga classes (not at the same time, but she wouldn't turn down the idea!). Jordan also has a knack for merchandising and has taken on managing Vikre's retail shop. What does that entail exactly? A little bit of everything, thus her title carried on from her previous position at DLH Clothing.
In her (sparse) spare time, you can find Jordan doing yoga outdoors, tending her garden, playing video games, or geeking out over her latest cocktail class curriculum.
Favorite song to work to: Anything Tame Impala.
Favorite spirit: Mezcal. This is a spirit with such rich cultural roots and such a wide spectrum of possibility. It's beautiful, nuanced, and elusive. If you're purchasing it in the US, please do so sparingly and with reverence.
Shaken or stirred: Shaken French 75, stirred Manhattan.
Shark or grizzly, who wins: Can't we all just get along? I'd like to think they'd be buds.
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: As an ode to my younger self, I've got to say unicorns ... buuut they were kind of ruined for me. You know how once people know you like something they all get you trinkets/gifts pertaining to that thing? Yup. I'm still getting rid of unicorn stuff.
Jesse Hoheisel
Cocktail Casanova
Jesse’s formative years were in Brainerd, but he has lived in Duluth longer than anywhere else, making it his true home. INFJ, musician, voracious reader of philosophy, religion, cultural studies and related topics; went to school for history, dropped out. Jesse got into food and spirits and has now worked for and with them for 15 years.
Favorite song to work to: For an indie and classic rock guitar player, I actually prefer EDM and electronic music for bottling and bartending. Too much air guitar lowers productivity.
Favorite spirit: Single malt highland scotch or aged bourbon. I'm an introverted late bloomer.
Shaken or stirred: I am more often stirred by events rather than feeling shaken by them. Stirred it is.
Shark vs. grizzly, who wins: Both would taste terrible unless you're absolutely starving. That said, I am part dolphin with how much I enjoy both swimming and eating fish, thus Grizzly, FTW. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: The realist in me is all dinosaur, the idealist says unicorn. My extended family has horses in it, so probably unicorn.
Marybeth Kalkbrenner
Executive Assistant for Emily and Joel/Office Manager
Marybeth is a longtime Duluthian and Lake Superior lover. She originally went to school for interior design, but ended up graduating with a business degree. After running her own business for about a decade, she decided to make a change and come work for her forever family, Vikre Distillery. She enjoys raising her three pretty awesome teenagers, renovating a home alongside her life partner, and fostering a loving relationship (not really!) between their cat (Skipper) and rescue pup (Olly) She also enjoys sailing, gardening, and all things art and design.
Favorite song to work to: Anything by The Black Keys. Who doesn’t love a little sexy rock and roll?
Favorite spirit: Ovrevann Aquavit or Boreal Spruce Gin in a Gimlet
Shaken or stirred: Shaken. Because, Gimlet.
Shark vs. grizzly, who wins: I am Switzerland.
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: I love science AND magic.
Zoey Keeney
Brand Ambassador
In the double life of Zoey, Vikre takes the night shift. An educator and counselor by day, Zoey works sales in the Chicago market by night brining a Minnesotan feel to a city that doesn't always slow down. Having grown up in the Twin Cities, Zoey skipped to the largest midwest city she could find to study English Composition and Italian language & culture at the University of Illinois at Chicago. After settling into a career in education while continuing her own, Zoey uses the flexibility in her schedule to travel like it's a part of her job, exercise exclusively for "racecations", explore the city's vibrancy and communities, and shake a little Vikre in, of course, along the way.
Favorite song to work to: Depending on the job, this can range from lofi hip-hop to to Led Zeppelin, Lizzo to acoustic reggaeton, with some continued repeats of Atmosphere and Public Enemy along the way. Trust, the playlists are eclectic...
Favorite spirit: Cedar gin ... filled with juxtaposition and surprises.
Shaken or stirred: Shaken ... the joy I get from the noise of ice in the shaker is fanciful.
Shark vs. grizzly, who wins: I know the terrain is going to be the equalizer, but after all grizzlies can swim?
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Dinos — all day every day.
Anton Jimenez Kloeckl
Kitchen Manager
Anton grew up in central Minnesota with multinational parents. He enjoyed a rich, musical, and theatrical upbringing, which inspired his participation in the arts community of Duluth. A Co-Founder of the Magic Smelt Troupe and a frontman of the musical project Red Mountain, Anton has no problem staying busy. He enjoys magic, nature, New Orleans, and spending time with his children.
Favorite song to work to: Anderson Park, “Come Down”
Favorite spirit: Boreal Cedar Gin — in the form of an Old Fashioned.
Shaken or stirred: Shaken! I like the maracas!
Shark vs. grizzly, who wins: Grizzly would win because they have eyebrows. Where is the fight? I’m unqualified to answer this.
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Jack-a-lopes, probably. I’ve seen taxidermy dinosaurs and they creep me out.
CARRIE Kouma
Private Tasting Host & Shift Lead/Bartender
Carrie has lived in Duluth since a pandemic put a pin in her world travels and pursuit of an international singing career. Seduced by the magic of Lake Superior, she found that the many hiking trails nearby made her nostalgic for her childhood in Wyoming, and she decided to stay. Carrie believes in living life to the absolute fullest, a philosophy that has prompted her to do things like spend 2 years in Azerbaijan with the Peace Corps, hitchhike in Iceland, get a Master's degree in Vocal Performance, eat crickets that one time, and try volcano surfing in Nicaragua.
When Carrie isn’t at Vikre, she can be found exploring the beauty of the North Shore, making music on the beach or on stage, and dreaming of where to travel next.
Favorite song to work to: Anything I can dance to
Favorite spirit: Temperance River Rye
Shaken or stirred: Stirred, because I'm always in the mood for a Manhattan
Shark or grizzly, who wins: Neither wins until they learn more effective communication strategies to solve their differences
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Unicorns. Sparkly unicorns. Sparkly unicorns that fly and spread love and magic through all the land.
Doug Kouma
Director of Consumer Sales & Visitor Experience
Doug grew up in Wyoming, earned a journalism degree from the University of Nebraska, and spent 20 years in the publishing industry in Iowa.
After spending a bunch of time learning how to be a proper corporate executive, he discovered he didn’t actually want to be a corporate executive. So in 2017, he quit his job, got rid of everything that didn’t fit into a U-Haul trailer behind his Jeep, and drove west to find himself in California Wine Country.
He worked at several Sonoma County wineries, earned his WSET II certification, completed a wine business management program at Sonoma State University, and even ended up on the local Chamber of Commerce board.
In summer 2019 he came to Duluth to visit an old friend. He liked it. They went for a drink at Vikre. He liked it. He struck up a conversation with Anton, who said Vikre was hiring and maybe he should consider the idea. He liked it. And two months later, he had moved to Duluth to live the Vikre dream he never knew he had.
Doug has an insecure attachment style with his mini Aussie, Sparkle, and pretends to have hobbies like kayaking and home improvement to throw people off the trail of his Google search history, because things like “how not to forget someone’s name in 10 seconds” and “which Golden Girl am I” and “OMG how does whiskey happen this is my job now” seem incriminating.
Favorite song to work to: I love all kinds of music, but sometimes I think we forget (or even intentionally ignore) the beauty of silence. When I moved from California, I drove the entire way to Duluth in complete silence, and I felt so refreshed and rejuvenated when I arrived!
Favorite spirit: Vikre Spruce Gin, because it’s refreshing — like my personality. We’re both a breath of fresh air.
Shaken or stirred: Shaken, because my Fitbit counts that as steps.
Shark vs. grizzly, who wins: Is this like a hockey question or something?
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Unless and until science discovers a sparkly rainbow dinosaur, I’m gonna go with unicorns.
Haakon Nelson
Sales & Events
Haakon has been with Vikre since 2016. He’s married with three kids and previously taught elementary school in the Twin Cities. He loves biking and cross country skiing, and he also serves as the very-important-business-golf liaison for the distillery. His advice to you: when you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Favorite song to work to: Elvis Costello, Steve Earle, Joan Shelley
Favorite spirit: Voyageur Aquavit
Shaken or stirred: Stirred
Shark vs grizzly, who wins: Holy moly I have no idea.
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Narwhals
Erin Otis
Director of Distillery Production
Erin is from a small town (Longville, MN — The Turtle Racing Capitol of the World!).
Erin does all the work at the distillery (At least more than Kevin).
Erin is very organized.
Erin met Jon.
They got hitched, and two daughters later, all is amazing.
Erin thought she would be a teacher.
Erin leads a double life as a spy due to her nosy nature and aptitude for code breaking/assassination.
—As told by Kevin Evans
Favorite song to work to: Anything with a fast tempo to keep everyone moving
Favorite spirit: Vikre Sugarbush Whiskey
Shaken or stirred: Stirred – it is more organizationally pleasing.
Shark vs. grizzly, who wins: Grizzlies and Sharks would never really get in a fight, so, they both win. (I am a Peacemaker!)
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Unicorns because Erin is a bit of a princess (Kevin, that’s not a nice thing to say!)
Hally Sharrow
Shift Lead/Bartender
Hally spends her mornings communing with plants and her evenings moonlighting at Vikre. After graduating from college with a degree in Public Health, she spent seasons studying community food systems, organic farming in New York and Kentucky, and traveled extensively. She is grateful to call the Northwoods home.
She enjoys hot and steamy sauna sessions, intellectual and stimulating conversations, quality time with loved ones, wandering the woods with her dog ILA, hot yoga, Pilates (reformer), fresh produce, vegan cooking, music, art, traveling, tennis, sailing, cross country skiing, laughing and living in the moment. Moving at full speed and full capacity feeds her.
She feels fortunate to work in such a real, open and innovative environment. The more time passes the more extraordinary the experience becomes.
Favorite song to work to: “It Always Happens This Way” by Toulouse, “You Make Loving Fun” by Fleetwood Mac, “Right Down the Line” by Gerry Rafferty
Favorite spirit: Øvrevann Aquavit
Shaken or stirred: Shaken- vivacious and elegant!
Shark vs grizzly, who wins: Love to both
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Unicorns. Magic!
Bernadette Smith
Money Magician? Accountant Extraordinaire? Or simply, Director of Finance?
Bernadette is originally from a small town in Ohio. After moving quite a bit during her childhood, her family settled down in Minnesota during her teenage years. She attended UMD and graduated with a Bachelors in Accounting and then went to work on achieving her CPA designation. Bernadette married her high school sweetheart(!) and has two adorable little girls. Currently she lives on a small farm in Cloquet where she enjoys vegetable and flower gardening.
Favorite song to work to: I enjoy rock and roll.
Favorite spirit: White wine.
Shaken or stirred: Wine does not require either.
Shark vs. grizzly, who wins: Grizzly. I think it could easily eat a shark.
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Unicorns.
STEVE SOLA
Processing Manager
Growing up here in Duluth on Park Point, Steve has always felt a strong attachment to the northland and the lake. Most days were spent on or in Lake Superior or another body of water somewhere around here, or out in the woods up 53. After graduating from Duluth Central High School, Steve moved to Saint Paul for a few years to pursue a BA in anthropology and philosophy but was drawn back to the north woods and the powerful sense of solitude and calmness that spending time outside here brings. He often says that growing up in Duluth has spoiled him for living pretty much anywhere else. Outside of the distillery Steve spends most of his time reading sci fi novels and working on various musical and non musical projects, and he devotes as much of the warm seasons as he can to camping and canoeing in the BWCA. He has been accused on more than one occasion of having too many hobbies, so it's likely that this week will be consumed by something vastly different than last week. Just ask.
Steve lives with his fiancée Erin, two chihuahuas, a hermit crab and a number of houseplants near the river in west Duluth.
Favorite song to work to: This is a tough one since a lot of my time is spent on the bottling line these days, but "Bluebird Wine" by Emmylou Harris comes up a lot. "Snakes for the Divine" by High on Fire is a good morning opener, and long bottling days usually call for a mix of Marty Robbins and Junior Murvin. Ask me again next week.
Favorite spirit: Definitely aquavit. A reputation for being difficult to approach hides a surprisingly versatile and useful set of flavors. Depending on the day I love super funky rums and smoky whiskeys too, but aquavit is special.
Shaken or stirred: Can I say swizzled? Tiki style drinks are my favorite if I'm forced to choose something that isn't just whiskey or aquavit. Go big or go home.
Shark vs. grizzly, who wins: I suppose that depends on the arena and the contest, but I'm gonna have to go with the grizzly.
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Probably dinosaurs. There's more variety there. How about narwhals? They're kind of like both.
Ellen Vaagen
Packaging Princess & Brand Ambassador
Ellen Vaagen grew up on the windy plains near Fargo, ND. In her search for higher education and, well, hills and trees, she moved to Duluth, MN in 2007. Ellen holds a degree in Cultural Anthropology and Environmental Studies, which is being put to good use as a distillery hand and vegan entrepreneur. Her various hobbies and interests include vegan cooking, eating, reading, drinking, writing, and did we mention eating? She is always in the process of starting her own business, Vaagen's Vegan Sauce, which will retail vegan sauces as meal starters to aid people in their transitions to a plant-based diet. Ellen is thrilled to be a part of Team Vikre. Cheers!
Favorite song to work to: Funk and 90's throwback jams
Favorite spirit: Our Northern Courage Smokey Rye. Long live NoCo!
Shaken or stirred: Stirred because of its requirement in my favorite cocktail: The Manhattan.
Shark vs. grizzly, who wins: Probably the grizzly because it has limbs and claws.
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: Unicorns because they are much more beautiful and are less likely to attack or eat me.
Matt Wasmund
Kitchen Magician
Child harmonica prodigy Matthew Danger Wasmund first stole the hearts of millions worldwide as the youngest-ever winner of the Eurovision song contest. (That is, unless you count that silly photo of him moonwalking at 2 years old that ended up on a “get well soon” greeting card, but most rational people would agree that selling a few thousand Hallmarks doesn’t really qualify as international fame, even if he’s still getting 72-cent royalty checks to this day). But as quickly as the Eurovision fame & adulation arrived, they were unceremoniously stripped away when it was discovered he had forged his Estonian citizenship documents and not actually sung a single note during the entire competition. Matt was shamed throughout the Baltics, reminding its citizens yet again of the age-old but oft-forgot Estonian proverb: “True power lies in the hands of a madman with a harmonica.”
Matt retreated from the limelight following this public humiliation (which was focused mostly in Eastern Europe, as most Americans had never heard of Eurovision until that Will Farrell movie came out, you know, the one that everyone thought was going to be terrible but turned out to be actually sorta endearing). For a time, all his friends and family knew of his whereabouts was that he’d gone “out west.” Maybe to chase a dream. Maybe to chase a girl. Or chase a coyote. Or run from a coyote. Then chase it once more, with gusto, after realizing it was actually an adorable golden doodle and his “$299 for BOTH eyes” LASIK surgery had failed spectacularly. No one was sure until a photo of Matt appeared one February morning nearly a decade later on the cover of the Minneapolis Star-Tribune Taste section with the headline “Meet the Only Pastry Chef Ever Awarded 12 Michelin Stars,” drawing gasps from literally tens of readers. Matt had found his true calling in culinary expression and opened the aptly named Matthew Danger Wasmund Pastries of Park City. Celebrities, ski bums, and Osmonds couldn’t get enough of his Danish. But once again, the love train wasn’t to last, and public shame would find its way back to Matt when the Huffington Post published pictures of him disguised in full nun’s habit buying day-old donuts from the back door of a local Albertsons, allegedly “for the children.” Matt voraciously denied the allegations, but when local resident Karen McKarensten posted grainy Blackberry video to her neighborhood on the Nextdoor app (as well as all neighborhoods within a 225-mile radius, as required by Nextdoor’s terms of service) showing Matt sprinkling crullers with tap water, zapping them in the microwave for 15 seconds, and displaying them in the “fresh from the oven” case, his defense collapsed. Sales dropped by nearly 7%, Michelin stripped him of 3 of his 12 stars, Katherine Heigl wrote a strongly worded blog post, and the Romney family committed to following Matt around town chanting, “shame, shame, shame.” Still, it’s been speculated that Matt’s pastry chef career might have been salvaged had he not tried to pay for the offending stale pastries in doge.
Matt returned to Minnesota that summer under the cover of darkness in a 1961 Jaguar convertible he borrowed from his friend Ramon to attend his high school reunion, where he tried to change the narrative by telling people he invented Post-Its and that if anyone needed to make a call he had a 2-pound green-screen flip phone. At first, his former classmates weren’t buying it, but by the end of the movie … er, reunion … everyone realized that no matter what he had done in the past, within Matt’s heart rested a pot of gold.
Now a 16-year resident of Duluth, Matt landed in the Vikre kitchen, where background checks aren’t much of a thing. Most days, an intern follows his every move (especially in the alley behind Super One) to ensure only the highest-quality culinary concoctions escape his grasp. (Taylor has Tuesdays off. Don’t let that stop you from coming in on those days, just be aware.) Matt says he doesn’t mind, because “at least I don’t have to make crostini.” As a side hustle, Matt repairs band instruments, and the people of Duluth have inexplicably entrusted him with both woodwinds AND brass. Strings musicians remain highly skeptical and rightly protective of their bows.
In his quiet moments, Matt enjoys looking at his reflection in the Cocktail Room mirrorball and pondering the thousand different versions of himself he casts into the world, each as fleeting as the last, but collectively a source of joy and comfort to literally tens of people. “It’s like Dylan used to say: ‘It really makes you think,’” Matt waxes. “So deep. So deep.”
Anyway.
Matt also plays instruments including the didgeridoo, hand drums, mouth harp, and theremin. Lately, he’s settled into that sweet Minnesota family life, makin' noise and makin’ nice, watching Bob Ross reruns, and BUYING UP AS MANY PARK POINT PROPERTIES AS HIS CHEERIOS BUDGET WILL ALLOW.
Favorite song to work to: Just about any Lily Allen tune out there
Favorite spirit: “Favorite” is not the right word, but Casper both terrifies and delights me
Shaken or stirred: I am quite shaken, thanks for asking
Shark or grizzly, who wins: This is like trying to choose between Osmonds and Romneys … it’s impossible
Dinosaurs or unicorns, which is better: This all sounds made up
ESPEN VIKRE - DISTILLERY toddler
Espen is the head of the distillery’s cuteness division. He holds a Masters of Science in adorableness and is working on a PhD in being a darling. If anyone tries to call him anything along the lines of sweetie, sweetheart, buddy, or sillypants mcpherson, he will swiftly correct you (in an adorable little voice) and tell you, "actually, I am a worker man."
SQUID - DISTILLERY DOG
Squid considers herself head of distillery security, and spends her time monitoring smells and watching passersby through the window when at the distillery. In her spare time she investigates the smells on the various running trails in town and goes on patrol to rout any squirrel that dares to descend from a tree.